The Black Side of the Moony
by CookieLizard
Summary: Not the story we all know. Sirius is the brother that joined the Death Eaters, not Regulus. However, he has his doubts. They become stronger when he takes an unknown wizard with sandy hair hostage and learns that the life he knows is not all there is. Eventual wolfstar.
1. Chapter 1

Idea by tigergirl-moonstar :)

More chapters coming.

Hope you enjoy!

CookieLizard

It didn't feel right. He never wanted this. He should have said no when he had the opportunity, but now it's all gone. He's just another puppet and it's too late now to cut the strings. He should have been the smart one. He was the older brother. Setting an example for Reg. And yet, his younger brother turned out to be smarter than all of them. Of course, no one in the family was allowed to speak to Regulus now, or even enter his Gryffindor room of shame. But there he was. Looking at his brother, who was too disgusted to even face him.

"Reg…", he started, surprised at his hoarse voice, "Reg, perhaps…"

"Don't bother, Sirius. I don't want to hear one more word. Just let me finish school in peace and then I'll be gone. For good. You won't have to see me anymore."

He still hasn't moved. He was talking to the wall more than to Sirius. But it was okay. He deserved this.

"Look. I know where you stand. And I respect it. But…"

"No, Sirius.", he said standing up and finally facing him, "If you truly respected it, you wouldn't try and change my mind."

"You have to understand the times we live in. We must stand united."

"Yeah… We do. And I am standing united. With the side I chose. On my own. Can you say the same for yourself? Do you actually believe in your cause?"

"I…"

"Just. Forget it. Leave."

"Reg…"

"Now!"

It hurt. It always hurt, seeing him like that. They used to support each other and now they were enemies. And it didn't feel right.

There was a crowd in the kitchen. Mother looked so proud. They must have had an assignment for him. Something important. Fantastic.

"Sirius, my boy.", mother said. She never called him that. There was definitely an assignment. "Lucius will fill you in on the way."

"On the way?"

"You'll see, you'll see. Make your family proud, like you always do."

"Of course, mother"

He loathed himself.

Sirius touched Lucius' shoulder and they disapparted outside the house and apparted in some small, Muggle-looking village.

"Have your wand ready.", whispered Lucius.

Sirius took it out and followed him, quietly. They reached a house and Lucius spelled the door open. Sirius entered quietly after him.

"It's not like I wasn't expecting you.", came a voice from behind them. Sirius saw a very thin man, who looked almost ill. His hair was once dark but there were traces of silver on it now. He was pointing his wand at them. He seemed confident even though his looks would say otherwise. "I knew you'd come for me."

"Edgar.", said Lucius softly, "You know you can avoid your sentence. You can always join us. You know we could do with your connections."

"You must be delusional."

Sirius stood there, awkwardly, not knowing what to do. He somehow felt concerned for the thin man.

"You know we have your wife and children. You know we can kill them any second, unless…"

"What? I cooperate? As if I didn't know they were dead already… You will never get me!"

"I think you are mistaken. And there's only one of you."

"Well, I think you're mistaken too."

"Drop your wands.", came a soft and oddly pleasant voice. Sirius turned again to stand face to face with a tall man, with sandy hair and green eyes. He knew him from school, but not by name.

The two wizards were on both sides of them. Sirius' eyes flicked on Lucius and noticed the slightest shake of his head. He knew what he planned. It wasn't going to be a fair fight.

"I am afraid, I can't grant that wish.", said Lucius and disappeared in a cloud of thick, black smoke. At the same time, Sirius dogged Edgar's spell and turned quickly to attack the other wizard. He blocked his spell and Sirius heard the other one attacking again, but Lucius reappeared behind his back and disarmed him. The other wizard cast something and Sirius winced and moaned when he felt a deep cut on his cheek. The tall men went to attack again, but Sirius used the Trip Jinx and he fell over.

" _Incarcerous!_ ", Sirius said and in a second his opponent was tied up. At the same time, green light flashed and he heard a thump. He turned to see Lucius gazing in disgust at the emotionless body of the thin, weak, unarmed man.

"Our job is done.", he said.

"What about this one?", Sirius said, pointing sat the sandy-haired wizard. Lucius shrugged.

"I didn't get any specific orders about him. You can kill him or leave him."

Sirius winced slightly.

"We could take him? He might know something."

Lucius smirked at him.

"Well, Black. You might have just made your family prouder." He stepped over Edgar's body and left the house.

Sirius picked up the other wizard's wand and leaned over to lift the wizard. He, however, used his tied legs to kick Sirius on his tibias. Sirius groaned and swore, fighting the tears that automatically fogged his eyes.

"You…", he looked at him, angrily. The other one, put an innocent expression on his face and looked away. Sirius smirked and calmed down. "Have it your way. _Stupefy!_ "

The wizard's muscles gave way and he lost consciousness.

" _Mobilicorpus!"_ , Sirius then murmured.

"Black! This isn't the time to be making friends!", came Lucius' voice from the outside.

"I'm coming!"

He shot a last glance at Edgar's lifeless body. He gulped and his hand gripped his wand tighter. He then turned away, and left with his prisoner hovering in front of him.

"Where now?", he asked Lucius when they joined him.

Lucius sent him a look which told to stop asking questions. It all became clear when they apparted in front of the big mansion. Malfoys' Mannor.

The house was impressive. Even more impressive, when compared to the cage at Grimmauld Place. When they walked in, after series of protection tests Lucius had to do, Sirius realised that the inside was even more breath-taking than the outside. Finished with black marbles, with a great fireplace in the middle, by which stood two armchairs upholstered with black leather. There were marble stairs on both sides of the hall. It was definitely bigger on the inside.

"And you live here with just Cissy?"

"Sometimes the Lestranges visit."

"Oh. Family meetings. You should invite us too sometimes."

Another stare. He decided to stop talking.

"Take him to the dungeon."

"You have a dungeon. That's a surprise."

"You took him, so now make it worth it. Interrogate him about the Order. We need to know what their hideout is and who is in charge. Don't hold back. Do what it takes to get the information."

"What if he's not in the Order?"

"Of course he is. He wouldn't be there to protect Bones if he wasn't. He didn't do a very good job, I must say…"

"Well, it wasn't exactly a fair fight…"

"Excuse me?"

"He was defenceless, Lucius. You didn't even give him a chance to die in a fair fight."

"We don't stop to think about this nonsense. I had a task and with your help, I completed it. You need to stop thinking so much about everything."

Sirius nodded. He left Lucius and hovered his prisoner downstairs. A row of torches at the wall lit up with green flames when he walked into the dungeon. It wasn't a cheerful place. There were four small cells, none occupied. He placed the wizard in the one furthest from the entrance and untied him. He felt a wild urge to fix his fringe. Up close, he saw that the wizard had a clear jawline, but it was gentle and gave his face a handsome shape. There were scars on his skin, barely visible from a distance. He also spotted a few freckles.

He realised he was taking a bit too long, just staring at his face, so he stood up quickly and left the cell. He locked it behind him and used the Reviving Spell. He then conjured a chair and sat down. He heard the prisoner groaning.

"Hey, buddy. We're gonna be here together for a while. Just the two of us. Might wanna socialise a bit."

"You killed him. Do you even know anything about him? Do you know he had a family? And that they were taken captive a while ago, and probably slaughtered?"

"I'm afraid I didn't."

"What do you know? Do you just follow orders, blindly?"

It felt like he was talking to Regulus again. He was tired of people accusing him of everything.

"That's not your concern. Now, state your name."

"Do you really not remember me, Black?"

"I have seen your face, yes. But I was never too bothered with your name."

"Well I can't see why would I be bothered with it now, then."

"Because you're on the other side of the bars and don't have much of a choice."

"Fine. Torture me then."

Sirius clenched his fists. He was never keen on hurting others. He should've thought of that before he joined the Death Eaters.

"I'm going to ask you to answer my questions."

"Well, good luck with that."

"I don't think you understand the situation."

The wizard put both hands on the bars and studied Sirius for a while. The stare of the green eyes gave him goose bumps. Somehow, it was more terrifying than anything else he'd encountered so far.

"Why did you do it, Black? Why did you have to be such an idiot?"

"You know nothing of me. You don't get to talk to me like that."

"I remember you. Always walking around with Snape. But you seemed different. You never joined in any of your little gang's bully parties. You would stare at us sometimes. You also never protected Snape from James. There were moments I thought of trying to befriend you. Maybe we wouldn't be here now, if I did."

James… James Potter? And then, suddenly, it clicked.

"Lupin… Remus Lupin. It's you. Bloody hell… You sure changed…"

He knew his face was familiar. But he never thought it was that person. The person he used to stare at sometimes, just like Lupin just said, but would never admit it. He always wanted to be their friend. But Lupin… He looked like he gained years in the few months that passed from their graduation.

"Well, you might not realise but I'm currently under a lot of stress. It changes people."

"I can surely see that."

"And how's your brother these days? I've always quite liked him."

"You don't get to talk about him."

"Why? He was a laugh at school. Too bad you didn't get to see how funny he was at the Gryffindor parties. But I guess you and your buddies were too busy with praising the Dark Lord in your lovely dungeons."

"It's not my fault the Hat decided to sort me there."

"But it's your fault for letting it get to you."

"I didin't have a choice, okay?!"

"And Reg did?"

He didn't know what to answer. Of course he had a choice. Of course he knew that. But he made the wrong one.

He heard footsteps.

"That's enough for now, Black.". It was Lucius.

"What, why? I didn't even…"

"Yes, that's the point. Move on."

"It was lovely to chat, Black!", Remus shouted when they were leaving upstairs, "I'm looking forward to the next talk!"

The lights went completely dark as they left the dungeon. Sirius thought of Remus, sitting there in the darkness, all on his own.

"Will someone else come to interrogate him?"

"Probably."

"Did I screw up?"

"A bit. But the Dark Lord is very pleased with you. Lupin is a valuable asset. Just don't let him get to you."

"Don't worry.", Sirius said, suddenly emotionless, "I will do my job."


	2. Chapter 2

Black didn't return for two days. Or what felt like it. He didn't know. He couldn't see the daylight so he couldn't tell days from nights.

There was another Death Eater who came to talk to Lupin, but he was not so reluctant to torture. It was never unbearable, though. And pain wasn't exactly alien to him. But the Death Eater seemed satisfied with just casting _Cruciatus_ so he would always leave after a while, smirking like crazy.

He decided not to think about Edgar. It couldn't be helped. It was a mistake. He would mourn once he gets out of this situation.

He heard a noise. Someone was coming again. Was it the Death Eater?

"So…. Did you miss me?", he heard someone saying.

It was Black. Odd. He thought he wouldn't see him again. He sat down on the chair in front of the bars.

"I can't believe it… They let you back in here?"

"I'm good at my job."

"With refusing to torture? You must be the worst Death Eater there is."

"I never said I'd refuse."

"Go on then. Was your friend a warm up?"

"What?"

"Your friend. The Death Eater before you. Well. Between you."

"What did he do?"

"Just the basics."

"Are you hurt?"

"Are you kidding me?"

Remus didn't know why he was even answering. He didn't want to talk to this man. And yet, he couldn't resist. There was just something about him. Ever since they were at school. Remus just wanted to approach him and talk to him.

"Well, I hope you're not too hurt. I still need you to talk."

Remus approached him and put his hands on the bars. Sirius was gazing into his eyes.

"Why are you doing this?", Remus almost whispered.

Black blinked a few times and just kept looking at him. Remus couldn't read his blue eyes.

"Because this is what I have to do."

"That is not a reason."

"It is to me."

Remus broke the stare and sat down, leaning against the wall on the side of the cell. He turned his head to look at Black again.

"So how are you going to do this?", he asked, gazing into his eyes.

"I'm just going to ask you questions."

"And what if I don't reply?"

"I'm going to be very disappointed."

"Oh, I don't know how I could survive that."

He thought that Black almost smirked. He still didn't really want to talk to him and yet the urge was stronger.

"When exactly are you going to start asking me questions that matter?", Remus asked.

"Well, can you tell me where the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix is?"

"Nope."

"Thought so. We have time to talk, then."

"Listen, Black. If you want a friend to chit-chat, I don't think I'm the best person."

"I think you'll do just fine."

"Did you bring snacks? Beverages?"

Sirius looked at him and this time Remus was certain he smirked. He couldn't help a slight twitch of corners of his mouth too.

"I'm afraid, I didn't.", Black replied.

"Then I don't know what I'm doing here. You should let me out."

"I can't really do that. We're just getting to know each other. I can't miss that opportunity."

"I don't think we're meant to be getting to know each other. I think you should be questioning me."

"Oh, come on. Don't spoil the fun. What's your favourite colour?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your favourite colour. Shoot."

Remus blinked and laughed. He didn't remember the last time he had laughed. Sirius was grinning too.

"Blue."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Like the colour of the sky?"

"No.", Remus said and locked his gaze on no particular point in front of him, "More like the colour of the sea, lightened by the sun. When you can see the rays dancing on the surface, on the waves. It's peaceful."

Black wasn't saying anything for a while. When Remus looked back at him, he saw he closed his eyes.

"Black? You okay there?"

"Mmmm…? Oh. Yes.", he opened his eyes and fixed himself on the chair.

"What's yours?"

"Mine what?"

"Colour, you idiot."

"Oh. Green. Yes, green."

"Like the beloved house?"

"Shut up, that wasn't my choice."

"I know, I know."

"I don't think you do."

The situation changed somehow. It wasn't a light atmosphere anymore.

"You're right.", Remus said, suddenly all solemn, "I don't."

"You all think it's simple. That we just get born… evil. It's not. Some of us don't have anything to say. If we try, we get killed or disinherited."

"Losing family fortune. How sad."

"No, stop it. See? You just don't understand."

Sirius got up. He walked to the wall behind the chair, further from Remus. He hit it with his fist. Remus also stood up and walked over to the bars. He leaned in, and put his hands on the bars.

"Tell me, then."

"It's not the fortune. It's the fact you lose everything. You don't belong anywhere. Do you think Regulus is happy? He's miserable. He's calm, of course. He did the right thing. But he doesn't belong. He doesn't belong in our house anymore and he doesn't really belong to the Order either. He's too afraid you'd consider him a spy. He can't help, even though he wants to. He's just there. Sitting and waiting for Voldemort to come and finish him off."

"You said his name."

"What…?"

"Voldemort. I thought you, Death Eaters, weren't allowed to."

"Well, maybe we're not. I don't know."

There was a silence after this sentence. Remus decided to break it and whispered:

"We wouldn't, you know. Consider Reg a spy."

"I'm glad to hear that, but it doesn't really help. And I can't exactly trust you."

"No, you can't."

Sirius looked at him. He approached the bars and put his hands on them, close to Remus'. Their eyes met.

"I want to.", Sirius whispered.

Remus felt his heart beating faster. He didn't know why. There was something very wrong with him.

Something clicked inside him and he blinked, breaking the moment.

"Reg can. Trust us.", he said quietly.

Sirius frowned and moved away to sit on the chair again.

"Well, I surely can't tell him that, for he doesn't want to have anything to do with me."

Remus leaned in closer between the bars.

"You can still change that. I'm sure.", he said. Sirius remained still in his chair.

"No matter what I do, he just won't talk to me.", Sirius whispered.

"Maybe you should just try being on his side at once?"

"And what, betray everyone?"

"To some people it's betraying to other it's doing the right thing."

"Isn't it like that with everything?"

"You should just listen to what your heart tells you."

"Wow. You and your Dumbledore thoughts. It's not that simple, you know."

"I think it is."

Sirius suddenly stood upright again.

"It's not. I thought you'd understand. Clearly, you don't"

He said and he started walking away.

"Hey, is that how you do your job? You just walk away?", Remus shouted after him.

"Someone else can do that for me. I bet they're all excited."

And with that he left and Remus was left in darkness. Again.

* * *

Sirius charged upstairs and realised he didn't know where to go next. Last time Lucius told him to go back to his house, but this time he wasn't here and Sirius wasn't meant to stop the interrogation. He wondered why they even let him back there. Lupin was right about that. He was useless at it. But this morning Lucius appeared again and said he had another chance. He wanted to do it, but he didn't exactly know his reasons anymore.

He stood in the big hall, awkwardly. He saw a Death Eater whose name he didn't know. He was sitting by the staircase, staring in front of him, as if he'd been waiting, cautious. He didn't see him when he was walking downstairs earlier.

Sirius approached him and nudged him on his shoulder.

"Hey. Mate. You okay?"

The Death Eater looked at him. There was something mad in his eyes.

"Are you done? Can I get back there?"

Sirius frowned.

"Urm. Yeah, sure. Good luck."

He rushed past Sirius and downstairs. Sirius looked around. He approached the old fireplace and touched some of the ornaments. Suddenly he saw something around his ankles. It was a very annoyed house-elf who kept poking him, pulling his ears at the same time.

"You don't touch that, mister Black, sir. Dobby has to tell you, sir!"

"Oh. Sorry, I… Sorry. Stop pulling at your ears, I won't get mad at you for asking me not to touch things."

The elf stopped and looked at him with his big blue eyes.

"You don't belong here, mister Black, sir."

Sirius frowned but before he opened his mouth to reply, Dobby disapparted.

"Weird creature.", he murmured.

And shortly after that he heard a loud moan from the dungeon. He gulped and clenched his fists. He resisted running there though. He would wait until the other one was back. He couldn't show any feelings.

The other Death Eater emerged a few moments later. His smirk was particularly disgusting.

"Wanna go and talk to what's left?"

Sirius felt his heart skipped a bit. He didn't know what scared him more – the Death Eater's words or his own reaction. He simply nodded to him, since he couldn't find any words and was afraid his voice would break.

The Death Eater sat down when he'd been sitting before and locked his eyes on the same invisible point in the distance.

Sirius clenched his jaws and with a beating heart went back downstairs.

* * *

He told himself not to give a sound. He tried so hard to not scream in agony. But he couldn't help it. It was different this time. When the Death Eater cast _Cruciatus_ for what felt like a hundredth time, after combining it with other curses to ravage his body, he gave up. But just after that, the Death Eater stopped.

"Well, well. You do have a voice after all. Good. I will be back to hear you sing all the information we need."

"I'm not a very good singer, you know. I've been told." Talking was hard. There was a pressure on his chest and every breath felt like his final one.

The Death Eater gave him a disgusted look, vanished the chair and left the room. Remus was left in silence and darkness once again. He curled up in the corner and closed his eyes. The blissful moment didn't last long because he heard someone coming and saw the green light of the torches through his closed eyelids. He didn't open his eyes. He just waited.

"You still there?"

Sirius' voice was somehow calming and uplifting. But he couldn't think positively of him. He was an enemy.

He didn't want to speak. He didn't want Sirius to see or hear him like that. It was too humiliating.

"Listen. Remus. I'm sorry, I overreacted there. But it's just really hard, you know. And I really thought you'd understand. Now, I am sorry, but I do have to ask you real questions."

Remus couldn't help but scoff. He could ask the wall all he wanted, as far Remus was concerned.

"Oh good. So you are there. Anyway. We need to have a little chat and we can't do that if you're hiding. I can get you out of hiding, but I wouldn't want to use force."

"Why?", he couldn't help himself. As he thought his voice was hoarse and shaky. "It's not like you don't use it on other people. Your friends do it all the time. Why won't you use it on me?"

"What happened to your voice? Anyway. Using force is a choice. I chose not to. You know that." He paused for a while and sighed. "Remus, they really need to know the whereabouts of the Order."

"They? Not we?"

"Stop it. I'm trying here."

"Go away."

"Okay, have it your way."

Sirius took his wand out and pointed at him. Remus felt a mix of shock, sadness and betrayal. He braced himself, and…

" _Lumos!_ "

Light filled the cell, and he only caught a glimpse of Sirius' terrified face.

* * *

Remus looked awful. How could this happen? In the time he was gone, Remus looked as if he took a beating from 10 muscular people. His eyes were swollen and all his face was bruised. His lip was cut and his nose was bleeding.

"Remus… What happened?"

He tried to cover his face, but it was too late. Sirius didn't understand what was going on.

"Why are you so surprised? This is what they do, Black. This is how you interrogate."

He knew that Remus was right. But he couldn't help but feeling disgusted and betrayed. And when he felt a particularly nasty cramp in his stomach, he felt something else. He felt that he cared for this man.

Only half-consciously he realised he charmed the cell door open. He slowly walked inside, never taking his eyes of Remus. He kneeled next to him.

"I'm so sorry…", he whispered. He gently touched one of Remus' fresh bruises. He caressed it with his thumb. Remus winced a bit at first but didn't shake him away. Sirius was barely aware of how close their faces were. He could feel the heat of Remus' wounds, he could almost feel the pain. Remus closed his eyes and let his face fall into Sirius' palm. Sirius put his wand on the floor and used the other hand to move Remus' sandy hair away from his forehead. He cupped his face. Remus opened his eyes. For a while they were just there, staring at each other. Sirius felt his heart beating faster. He didn't know what he felt. It seemed like it was every emotion at once. Sadness, hatred, self-loathing, but also joy and some feeling he couldn't quite name. It was as if it had always been there, but he hadn't realised up until that moment. It was something that filled his heart with warmth and fear but also gave him hope. He felt Remus shifting slightly. Their faces were inches away…

And then Remus jumped to his feet. Startled, Sirius realised Remus picked up his wand and was pointing it at him.


	3. Chapter 3

_I know what you're thinking... How do I even dare to show my face here again. The truth is, I didn't even realise it has been THIS long since I last updated. I was very busy with the last two years at Uni and it just went so quickly... I sincerely apologise and I hope you forgive me and will still want to read the new chapter._

 _I thought that if I posted again it would have to be today - 3rd of November, the birthday of one and only Sirius Black (not actually one and only cause there were two before him but never mind that). So raise your wands and your glasses of Fire Whiskey and toast for Sirius, no matter where you are._

 _Enjoy the second to last chapter of this little story!_

 _\- CookieLizard_

* * *

He could see shock on his face. There was also something like… disappointment? Remus himself didn't know what he felt but he was trembling. He saw an opportunity. He had to take it.

"What…?"

Sirius was still on his knees. He couldn't or didn't want to get up. Remus didn't quite know where to take this. He couldn't just sneak out of the mansion unnoticed. The place was probably filled with Death Eaters and protected with loads of spells. He didn't have the Dark Mark to help him get through all the security. But Sirius did. Probably. But they would realise there were two wizards and only one Mark. Sirius looked at him with a vacant expression.

"Okay. How many of you are there? How can I get out?"

"I don't know. Remus. Calm down. You can't escape. There are too many protection spells, they will know that you got away and they will kill you."

That's what he already suspected.

"Why do you care if they kill me?"

Sirius didn't answer. Instead, he sat down and leaned against the dark, cold bricks. He buried his face in his hands.

"I don't want to do this anymore. I just don't. I spent like what, three days with you? And yet I feel closer to you than I have to anyone in my life."

Remus just stood there, startled and even more confused. He didn't know if that was a trick or a genuine breakdown.

"I'm not quite sure I can take you seriously, right now."

"No, of course. I can understand that.", his blue eyes turned to look at him, "I really am sorry, Remus."

There was a real pain in his eyes. Remus nodded, still thinking about his options.

"I can't disapparate here can I?"

"No. But I can help you get out."

"How can I trust you?"

"You can't."

Remus thought about it again. It was either trying to get out and getting killed on the way, or staying here for he didn't know how long and hoping Black would keep his word. He must have been crazy, but he lowered his wand. Sirius only nodded. Remus didn't know what told him to do it, but he sat down next to him. He stayed alerted for any sudden movements. However, none happened. The only thing Sirius did was reaching inside his robes and taking something out.

"Here.", he said, offering it to Remus, "You might need it."

It was the wand he took from him in Edgar's house. Remus blinked.

"You would leave me with this?"

"You have my wand. I want it back. And I would rather you were armed."

Remus took the wand and gave Sirius his back. They both put them away and just sat there in quiet.

"I'm a werewolf.", Remus heard himself saying, suddenly.

Sirius wasn't saying anything for a while. When he finally spoke, it was very quiet.

"I thought it was suspicious that you and your friends were sneaking out every month during the full moon."

"You noticed?"

"Yes, of course. You said it. I used to stare at you all sometimes. It was hard not to, actually."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you were popular and everyone liked you. Wanted to be like you."

"Really? I thought it was just James."

"Well, I never really liked him. He was always seeking attention."

Remus smiled. He thought about James and wondered where he was at that time.

"I'm sure you'd love him if you got to meet him."

"If you say so. I never really payed attention to the third one too… Paul? Percy?"

"Peter. Well, he's a little grey mouse. No one ever really notices him anyway. It was just James all the time anyway."

"Not to everyone." said Sirius very quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, James was always too loud for my liking. Too much like me, I think."

"You're loud?"

"Well, me and Regulus used to be very cheeky as children. We would prank some of our family members sometimes. We would be punished afterwards but it never stopped us, really. It changed though, when we went to school. Obviously."

Remus scoffed. Sirius frowned at him.

"I'm sorry. I just can't really imagine you as a prankster."

Sirius grinned.

"Oh you'd be surprised."

"Sounds like we could really have used you, back in the days. James was always a bit alone. Neither me nor Peter were ever completely synced with James. He was always one step ahead."

"Weren't you a famous trio, though?"

"Well, we always participated. It was James who was behind planning. Well, with my help sometimes. Otherwise, he would end up having detentions every hour."

Sirius laughed. The conversation felt so normal they could be sitting in one of Hogsmeade's cafés, watching other Hogwarts students through the slightly steamed windows. But they weren't. And it suddenly dawned on Remus how inappropriate it was. Sirius' thoughts must have taken a similar turn because his smile faded and he looked at Remus solemnly.

"What are we going to do, Remus?"

Remus was about to answer negatively but suddenly, an opportunity presented itself to him.

"What's the date, Sirius?"

"What? Why would you care about-"

"I'll explain, just tell me the date!"

"It's the 3rd of July, why?"

He was afraid this would happen. It was still too early. There was no other way. He focused his stare at Sirius, feeling the sudden flow of energy and motivation.

"Okay. Sirius, listen. I need you to keep me here for six more days."

"What, are you crazy?!"

"Calm down! I have an idea."

Sirius looked at him enquiringly. Remus smiled. It might just work.

* * *

It felt like the longest six days in Sirius' life. It wasn't just the constant fear that the Death Eaters would see right through him and kill him and Remus on the spot. It was the fear that they would kill Remus before they even get a chance at their plan. Sirius would go out of his lengths to try and raise as little suspicion as possible but it ward hard after a few times he asked to be allowed to interrogate Remus again. Lucius started watching him carefully and the day before the agreed date he approached him and told him what Sirius has been dreading all week.

"If he doesn't speak tonight, we're getting rid of him."

Sirius felt his insides suddenly got very heavy and seemed to have dropped. He tried to keep an indifferent expression on his face.

"Oh. I suppose that makes sense. Did you find anyone new though?"

"No, why?"

"Well I just thought that was always the way He wants it…"

Lucius frowned. Just like Sirius wanted.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, if you don't have a good reason to get rid of such an asset… I don't think the Dark Lord will be satisfied with you giving up so easily and not even having a replacement."

Lucius' expression was hard to decipher but if he was stressed, it wasn't showing.

"Why do you think so?", he asked, his voice low and quiet, almost like a whisper.

"I am using my brain. What problem does he make anyway? It's not like he needs attention… Just leave him there for a few days in the darkness, alone. Perhaps he will lose his mind and then we will get everything we need from him."

"Well if you think it's such a brilliant idea, why did you keep insisting on sitting down there with him?"

"I thought I could still get some more information."

Lucius scoffed.

"Don't make me laugh. You spent hours in there and you achieved nothing.", he walked up to Sirius and locked his eyes on his, looking down on him, "I am watching you, Black. Your brother was an abomination. I hope you won't disappoint us like he disappointed his entire family."

He moved away. Sirius wasn't going to reply, but then something Lucius said echoed in his mind.

" _Was_?"

"What?"

" _Was_ and abomination?"

A disgusting grin spread over Lucius' face.

"Oh... What a shame. They didn't even bother to let you know."

Sirius felt his heart beating faster and his stomach cramping. He clenched his fists and his teeth and looked at Lucius coldly.

"Let me know _what_ , Malfoy? Stop playing games with me, we are on the same side!"

"Your brother brought an end to his miserable life the day after he finished school… Apparently it was very important to him to get educated before he gave up…"

It happened quickly. Sirius rushed to him and was pressing the tip of his wand under Lucius' chin, his hand shaking.

"Take it back… Take it back right now. It's not true!"

Lucius laughed.

"Ah there really is no saving to your family. And what, are you going to hurt me now? In my own home? I don't think you would live another second if you did that."

Sirius didn't care about living or dying he just wanted to hurt him and make him stop saying these awful things about Regulus. But then he remembered. Remus. He couldn't get careless. Not now.

He lowered the wand.

"Who told you?"

"Narcissa, of course."

"Of course."

Lucius turned and looked like he was about to walk away but stopped for a last sentence.

"It really was for the best and you know it."

With that he left Sirius on his own, confused and still in state of shock. He realised there was only one person he wanted to see, so without thinking twice and remembering about being careful he made his way into the dungeons.

Remus was sitting curled up in the corner of the room. He seemed quite poorly. He didn't even raise his head when he heard Sirius in the corridor.

He didn't know what got into him but he just didn't care anymore. None of it was rational. He opened the door of the cell. That got Remus' attention. He raised his head and frowned at Sirius.

"Sirius, what are you doing? What if they come down there?"

He was poorly. His face was very thin and he had dark shadows under his eyes.

Sirius locked the cell door behind him. He cast barrier spells, he wasn't even sure would work in Malfoy's dungeon but he did it more for Remus' sake than any precautions.

"Sirius.", he heard Remus say again. Softer this time, with more care. Sirius couldn't look at him. He couldn't look at that face that bore so many scars, face of a man who had been through so much pain. He felt tears building up in his eyes. He couldn't control himself anymore. He felt Remus' soft touch on his shoulder.

"He's dead, Remus.", he heard himself sob, "Regulus, he's gone. And it's all my fault… It should have been me."

"Regulus is…", he knew it shocked Remus as well but he didn't ask anything else, "Sirius, it's not your fault, you know it isn't. Whatever happened, you couldn't have helped him."

"He did it to himself. He did it because he didn't belong. He waited until school was over, well of course, that was the only place he ever felt at home. I could have stopped this. He told me… But I didn't think he meant it like this. I'm such an idiot…"

The next second he was shaking uncontrollably and Remus was holding him tight in his arms. Sirius could hear him whispering words of comfort but he couldn't make sense of anything. He just wanted the pain to go away. He felt Remus stroking his back and his head. He felt his lips pressing against his forehead and moving as he whispered more comforting words.

Sirius looked up and as his forehead gave way for his lips, Remus' lips gently landed on them. Startled, he moved back slightly, but Sirius leaned in, not letting any distance get in between them. Remus understood and replied with the softest and most caring kiss Sirius has ever experienced. The mixture of feelings that seemed to be flowing in both of them made that moment feel surreal. Soft and caring at first it got more and more passionate as it went on and Sirius was hoping it would go on forever. He was getting lost in it. It was just the two of them and nothing else mattered. It was just Remus' hands and lips and chest and his neck and his hair and all of him that Sirius always knew he wanted. He should have acted on it years ago, but he was too scared and embarrassed. But there was no time for that anymore. He had him there and then. And he wasn't planning on letting him go anytime soon.

Sirius pushed him slightly backwards until the back of Remus' head met the wall. He explored his jawline, his neck and nibbled on his ear which resulted in a deep sigh. It made Sirius stop for a moment and he looked at Remus. His eyes were dark, his cheeks flushed for the first time since he captured him and he could feel his heart beating fast through his thin chest. He seemed to be studying Sirius in the same manner Sirius was studying him.

"I wanted to do this so many times...", Sirius whispered.

"I know.", Remus smirked and Sirius frowned, "Don't worry, I did too."

He kissed him again and Sirius' frown disappeared. His hands found their way to the buttons on Remus' shirt and he tugged at them playfully for a while before breaking the kiss again and looking for consent in Remus' eyes. The moment lasted for what felt like forever and then Remus' head moved in the shortest nod, before he moved Sirius' hands back to the buttons.


End file.
